I don't have anything clever to write: Nothing Really Mattress(?): Kafka, Camus, and the Importance of Translation
I take French classes, so a lot of my time is spent (inaccurately??) translating French to English back and forth. Today, let's analyze some translations from German to English:
This translation, like the first, doesn't employ the use of commas, and since the sentence is packed full of information, the lack of separation within the sentence makes it feel rushed. Unlike the first one, I think the adjectives this translation has makes the sentence more descriptive; "transformed" encaptures the drastic change from human to bug better than "changed" does. I think the diction also makes the translation not as simplistic, like what you would see in a children's book. Words such as "transformed" and "enormous" add more dramatization to the sentence.
Like the others, this translation is devoid of commas, making the sentence feel kind of jumbled and crowded. In addition, the diction is not very descriptive, using adjectives like "uneasy" and "gigantic" doesn't churned up a lot of imagery in the audience's minds, it's pretty simplistic. However, the use of the conjunction "as" makes the sentence structure flow better, it's building up the sentence for something big to happen.
Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.
Translations:
#1:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.
This translation, aside from 2 adjectives, is pretty to the point. It's not too descriptive, readers don't know what type of bug or what color the bug is, but we do know its size. The sentence feels kind of rushed because of its structure, there aren't any commas to separate the different pieces of information. The diction is also quite simple, from this the readers don't really have any details.
#2:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
This translation, like the first, doesn't employ the use of commas, and since the sentence is packed full of information, the lack of separation within the sentence makes it feel rushed. Unlike the first one, I think the adjectives this translation has makes the sentence more descriptive; "transformed" encaptures the drastic change from human to bug better than "changed" does. I think the diction also makes the translation not as simplistic, like what you would see in a children's book. Words such as "transformed" and "enormous" add more dramatization to the sentence.
#3:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
Like the others, this translation is devoid of commas, making the sentence feel kind of jumbled and crowded. In addition, the diction is not very descriptive, using adjectives like "uneasy" and "gigantic" doesn't churned up a lot of imagery in the audience's minds, it's pretty simplistic. However, the use of the conjunction "as" makes the sentence structure flow better, it's building up the sentence for something big to happen.
#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
This translation out of all is the most descriptive and "story-like". The use of the words "awakening" adds a child-like touch to the sentence, and "monstrous vermin" dramatizes and emphasizes the absurdity of the situation, like you would see in children's books. This translation also flows the best, accredited to its use of commas.
How does the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift in each affect meaning? Is one more effective than another? Why? What does this exercise bring up about the difficulty of reading translated texts? How do different translations effect the tone of the sentence?
Word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery are all elements that can manipulate the meaning of sentences; some words capture a feeling better than others, syntax can emphasize different parts of a sentence better than other types of punctuation. Personally, I think that word choice has the most impact on how a sentence or translation is percieved, which is why most of my time spent on writing an essay is finding synonyms. There is an innumerable amount of words, and while words can have similar meanings, each is unique, like a snowlake. Words have the ability to add more drama, more description, or more emphasis. For example, I think the fourth translation is the best. While I will never know the intended meaning of the original sentence, I think the word choice of "monstrous vermin" really encaptures the absurdity of transforming from a human to a bug. Overall, I think word choice is most important when trying to convey something.
This exercise has brought to attention the hardships of both translating and reading translations. Because languages don't have completely transferable words and phrases, translations aren't going to use the exact words that were presented in the original, and because each word has their own unique meaning, the meaning of the translated sentence is not going to perfectly match the intention of the original. As stated before, word choice is the most significant part of creating meaning with a sentence, and as the connotations get diluted between languages, the tone of the sentence and the effect it has on the reader can shift. I think this is common with translating, in my attempts at French, I always try to think about what I'm trying to say in English, then translate into French. But because French has different grammar and syntax, my words have to be shifted to fit French standards, usually affecting what I'm trying to convey in some way. Generally, translating between languages results in diluted connotations, it's almost impossible to capture the exact tone when words have to be changed.
This translation out of all is the most descriptive and "story-like". The use of the words "awakening" adds a child-like touch to the sentence, and "monstrous vermin" dramatizes and emphasizes the absurdity of the situation, like you would see in children's books. This translation also flows the best, accredited to its use of commas.
How does the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift in each affect meaning? Is one more effective than another? Why? What does this exercise bring up about the difficulty of reading translated texts? How do different translations effect the tone of the sentence?
Word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery are all elements that can manipulate the meaning of sentences; some words capture a feeling better than others, syntax can emphasize different parts of a sentence better than other types of punctuation. Personally, I think that word choice has the most impact on how a sentence or translation is percieved, which is why most of my time spent on writing an essay is finding synonyms. There is an innumerable amount of words, and while words can have similar meanings, each is unique, like a snowlake. Words have the ability to add more drama, more description, or more emphasis. For example, I think the fourth translation is the best. While I will never know the intended meaning of the original sentence, I think the word choice of "monstrous vermin" really encaptures the absurdity of transforming from a human to a bug. Overall, I think word choice is most important when trying to convey something.
This exercise has brought to attention the hardships of both translating and reading translations. Because languages don't have completely transferable words and phrases, translations aren't going to use the exact words that were presented in the original, and because each word has their own unique meaning, the meaning of the translated sentence is not going to perfectly match the intention of the original. As stated before, word choice is the most significant part of creating meaning with a sentence, and as the connotations get diluted between languages, the tone of the sentence and the effect it has on the reader can shift. I think this is common with translating, in my attempts at French, I always try to think about what I'm trying to say in English, then translate into French. But because French has different grammar and syntax, my words have to be shifted to fit French standards, usually affecting what I'm trying to convey in some way. Generally, translating between languages results in diluted connotations, it's almost impossible to capture the exact tone when words have to be changed.
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